Have you ever had an intuitive hunch that you needed to do something? You got the nudge and so you dutifully followed the hit of inspiration and went for it? Then.. Crickets? You were supposed to take dinner to someone – but they refused it. You were supposed to call someone but they didn’t answer. You smiled at someone and they yelled at you. I could go on and on. When something like this happens, it can really mess with your head — and your heart.
Why on earth would your intuition tell you to do something you can’t follow through on? Why would that inner voice guide you to waste your time? Is there even an inner voice? And if it’s going to mess with you like that, why should you ever listen to it?
I’ve always gotten these “hits.” Sometimes, it works! I love those days. The ones where I’m in the flow. I know what to do, I’m getting those nudges and everything ends up synchronous. People smile at me, I’m in the right place at the right time and I know that I’m co-creating with them on a much higher level.
And then… There are the other days. The days I wake up, I know what to do. I announce my resolve. I start to take action and by the end of the day, something has changed. I don’t know why, but the thing I set out to do isn’t something that can be completed. I’ll do further research and find out it isn’t even plausible today. Then, when I pray, meditate and ponder on it, I realize that it’s not even something that is in the pipeline right now.
How could this be? It doesn’t make any sense why I would “know” in the morning I needed to do something but 24 hours later, life is showing me that I really don’t “know” anything, because now I “know” something different.
I grew up Mormon. Many don’t believe Mormons are Christians, but members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints would disagree. As I have studied and listened to non-denominational pastors and music and messages, I can understand where that point of view comes from, but the Old and New Testament are part of the canons for the church.
One story I had a hard time with when I was growing up was the story of Abraham and Isaac. Abraham was a very old man when he was finally blessed with a son with his wife. When the son was 12 years old, Abraham was told to take Isaac up the mountain and offer him as a sacrifice to God.
[Whoa, whoa, whoa, what kind of a God would ask a man who had waited almost a century to kill his son? That’s not cool! But, according to Genesis, it happened.]
And, Abraham, being the good and faithful servant he was, took his son, his pride and joy, the reason his heart beat, up the mountain, tied him up and prepared to offer him.
Imagine the dramatic music playing in the background, his heart is racing. I’m sure it’s breaking, and he’s asking God, “Why? Why would you ask this of me? You know how much I love this boy? I waited so long. What am I going to tell my wife?” And then: brilliant, blinding light, an angel appears and says, “Stop! just kidding. You don’t have to do this. You proved you were willing. Here’s a ram.”
Okay, so this is a bit of an over simplification, but I really believe the scriptures – all scriptures – are a foundation that shows us how life can work.
So, what does the story of Abraham have to do with this blog post? Well, everything. As we continue with the story, we find that Abraham’s commandment to sacrifice his son was a test – to see if he was willing to “prove” his mettle to God. I don’t know how other’s view it, but I understood that through this test, God was teaching Abraham a valuable lesson, letting him know what it was like for Him (God) to be offering his son, Jesus, as our Savior. Through the preparation to obey, Abraham learned valuable lessons that prepared him for the rest of his earthly experience.
I woke up with sudden clarity earlier this week. I had been throwing a few things around for a few months and I woke up with a shit or get off the pot impression. It was time to take action and start moving or shut up about it. So, I started doing research. I decided it was time to pull the trigger. I made some calls, and by Friday, I had everything I needed to take this action – a permanent action from which there is no coming back. There were a few consequences I hadn’t foreseen and some logistics I hadn’t taken into account, but hey, if you’re going to do it, do it. Jump and the net will appear. Right? The plan was in place, I told a couple people what was coming and why I was there.
Then, Friday afternoon happened. I felt oddly empty. And incredibly sad. This sadness was warranted given the actions being taken, but it seemed a little bit over the top for the path I was going down. It was going to be an easy transition. I talked to a friend who reminded me why things needed to be this way, and I talked to a new friend who agreed with me that I was making the right decision. I went home and had a discussion with the other affected party and by the end of that discussion, I knew I needed to wait. Some points I hadn’t even considered were brought up and their ramifications completely changed the trajectory of life.
As I went to bed Friday night, I prayed about it, asking for a sign that was unmistakable about what I was to do. And it came. Unmistakable. And it was undeniable that I wasn’t to take the action. Now I was confused. This path I was ready to go down might not even be the path?!? I was so certain just 24 hours before that I was doing the right thing. How could this even be? How could I trust myself if all that was for nothing?
Then, this morning as I was meditating, I was reminded of Abraham and Isaac. Abraham took the inspired action. He tied up his son, traumatizing him, I’m sure. He pulled out the knife and he prepared to kill him. Now that’s something you can’t come back from! But, in that preparation, he learned something about himself. He learned he was committed to God. He learned that God always has his back. He learned just how much he loved his son. Things happened in that experience that we can’t even imagine, but that changed the fabric of Abraham and, I dare say, the entire human consciousness.
Life is for us. It’s always unfolding for our highest good. We are here to co-create. No matter the situation, the other party gets to decide whether or not they want to be part of that creation (I know some would disagree about some situations, but that’s a different conversation). There is a blessing in every situation. Sometimes we get our ram, like Abraham, and sometimes it unfolds like Job’s life. But there is always beauty waiting if we are willing to open our eyes to it.
It’s hard to say why I got that hit earlier this week. Maybe I needed to know I was ready. There was definitely a piece I hadn’t considered that couldn’t have been brought to my attention in another way. I say this because everything unfolds perfectly. ALWAYS! So, rather than beat myself up because “stupid me, I got it wrong again” (my old way of thinking), I am grateful that things unfolded perfectly. I followed the intuition to have the conversation. And, even that I had the hit to go so far down the rabbit hole. I learned some things about myself this week I wouldn’t have learned otherwise. I found some clarity and I found a part of myself that had been lying dormant for a while. I realized, again (because it’s an ongoing thing) that I can do this. I’m ready and things don’t have to go the way I think they do.
God (call Him what you want) always has a better plan. He knows the hows my human mind can’t possibly even fathom from its limited experience. And when I stop trying to drive, not only is the ride more smooth, I actually get to enjoy the scenery!