Today I read a post by Luna & Sol where they talked about signs to tell if you have gotten caught up in Spiritual Materialism. They list 11 ways you can tell if you have fallen into it.
Their post is fantastic and goes into ways to tell when you have become spiritually materialistic. One of the traps of Spiritual Materialism they mention is the Positivity Trap. My 11yo daughter calls it “Happy Peppy.” I have a mentor who calls it “Happy Dappy.” I’m sure you’ve seen it. You might even have done it.
I’ve actually been called out before for being that person. And, honestly, I had a moment where I was. There is a fine line between being positive and being that “happy peppy” or “happy dappy” person.
The self-help gurus are making billions of dollars a day telling people that they are broken and they just need to think good thoughts and keep focusing on the positive. “Be high vibe,” they say, “and everything will come your way.” “What you focus on expands so buy these hypnosis programs that will change your thinking.” “Buy my ready made affirmations that will make sure you brainwash yourself into thinking happy thoughts.”
Have you fed into it? I sure have. I wanted to do things right. I wanted to be enlightened. I wanted my money woes fixed and I wanted to be happy. I wanted someone to come in to save the day. Guess what!?! Ain’t nobody gonna save you. This work is an inside job.
Ouch! Right?
Here is where the lynch mob is going to come in and get me. In working to empower the people, the self-help industry has created a new victim and a new aggressor and a new savior. The victim is each and every person on the planet. The aggressor, the ego. And the savior… The GURU!! You know, that person who is trying to sell you something?
While it is a novel idea to think that someone can save you, the fact of the matter is, only you can save yourself. You can find tools. There are teachers out there who can lead you to your own truth… I hope that I can be one of them… BUT… here is the big but, only you can make the change.
If a program doesn’t work, it’s not because the person did a shitty job. Okay, maybe they did. But… There are people who have had their lives change even from the worst program. Why is that? It’s because those people whose lives changed were ready.
Why, after 15 years and tens of thousands of dollars, was I still looking for answers? Because I was looking outside of myself. If you are in that place, it’s possible that you think that you are going to find someone who has the answers. Honestly, anyone who has the answers, only has their own personal answers. Each person is different and the one thing I have learned is that there is no such thing as a single truth. Every person’s truth is different.
But, I digress. There is a purpose for this detour. That desire to deny the ego, as so elegantly written in the post has actually created a new paradigm which has strengthened the ego as it has so elegantly evolved to become this new “spiritual ego.”
Denying that there is darkness or negativity or that bad things happen does not do us any good. In fact, it weakens us. It steals our humanity and it denies us the many amazing experiences that are ours because we have decided to incarnate in this reality.
Living Life Radically isn’t about living in the light alone. It is about radical responsibility. It is about making life radical despite what happens because… life is amazing, even when the bad things happen. The lessons in the dark and the blessings in the messes are fantastic. If you won’t acknowledge the dark, you will lose out on the richest parts of being human. Radical is not only awesome as they said in the 80s, it is also the very essence of a thing. And the very essence of life is the lessons.
If you are struggling with trying to shut up that part of you that is negative and you find that you are constantly sabotaging yourself, consider that perhaps there is some healing that needs to be done. Perhaps that part of you that is hurt and denied is just screaming out to try to be acknowledged and healed and loved. Self love makes all the difference, but true self love is whole self love, unconditional. When you can love yourself enough to heal yourself, forgive yourself and learn from yourself, you can be happy even in those sad moments (after you have had the sad moment) and you can be okay because you will know that in its imperfection, everything is absolutely perfect.